My beautiful wife finished Christine Mallouhi’s well known book, Miniskirts, Muslims, And Mothers. I asked her to write a review for the blog. She joyfully complied. I married so well….
Summary
This book gives a good picture of the honor and shame that encompasses Muslim cultures. For example, Muslim women might dress up because that’s honorable (wearing jewelry is especially noticed). Women who don’t dress up are often seen to not care about honor or their appearance. They are sometimes seen as sloppy and carefree. They also don’t care about their husband’s image, which is reflected in everything the woman does. Also, many Muslims will get a masters or PhD just because that gains them more honor. This book teaches that Muslims don’t put holy books on the floor or in chairs because they need to hold a physical place of honor. In addition, the furniture in the sitting room where Muslims would accept guests is much nicer than in any other room in the house because guests are to be treated with honor. Also, furniture is arranged so that the most important piece of furniture is situated in an ideal place in the room. The author also talks a great deal about reciprocating hospitality as a source of honor.
Throughout the book, the author warns of several cultural taboos, especially relevant in Arab cultures; for example, a man should never ask about another man’s wife by name. Also, a woman’s appearance or grooming should never be talked about in mixed company. She also lists several stories or tips to deal with gender boundaries. “People will be operating on an understanding of what is right and wrong that is probably not evident to outsiders at first” (158 ) The author says that the person in front of you must take priority over everything; that is, if a friend drops by or calls you on the phone, you must cancel everything to meet with them. If you don’t you are showing them dishonor. If you excessively admire something, the owner should give it to you.
Another chapter is devoted to the veil in Islam. It gives a good picture of western views and different Muslim views of wearing the veil. The author also discusses when it’s appropriate for foreign women to wear a veil.
Another chapter focuses on stereotypes of Western wild women, and how we should react to such stereotypes.
The author also addresses how to share the Gospel, and how to be an example of how to follow Christ. She explains this also in a chapter about family. Muslims come from a very communal society rather than an individualistic society. This should be remembered when sharing the Gospel. She also has a wonderful section written for mothers that shares how moms can really have an impact in the Muslim world. Additionally, for Muslims, the focus of theology is honor whereas with Christians the focus is love. MBB churches must be centered on hospitality and family.
She also talks specifically about struggles that long-term workers may have in the Muslim world.
A whole chapter is devoted to hospitality and what this has to do with honor and shame. Some of the stories about hospitality in Eastern cultures reveals truths about bible stories such as Lot.
The author also explains how it is difficult for classes to mix. She explains that she leaves social change to MBBs who sense that this is wrong and desire to create a change in society. She also discusses how Jesus addresses social classes as a model for us to follow.
Critiques
This book is very focused on Arabs. She lists all the places she has been around the world, but her husband is an Arab and most of the stories seem to have an Arab influence. (Don’t be fooled by the picture of the Southeast Asian women on the front cover).
There are a few quotes with which I disagree:
“It may be rare to see women shopping on their own” (115). I think this totally depends on the country in which you are visiting. In countries like Lebanon and in some places in Turkey, women walk freely along the streets. This comment is probably related to the more strict Islamic societies.
“Westerners who live with Arab families all complain about the lack of privacy” (136). I disagree. We lived with an Arab family in Lebanon and were fine. However, they were Christians, so perhaps this makes a difference.
She says on page 137 that Muslims relate last to their political party; however, I think this also depends on the part of the Muslim world that you visit. In Lebanon, this is a very important part of society.
Who should read this?
The author answers this question within the text: “Christians who want to be friends with Muslims” (169-170).
