Forgiving Your Adulterous Spouse and the Glory of the Mercy of God

Would you forgive your spouse if you found them in an adulterous relationship? A new poll from the Gallup Organization shows that “roughly 6 in 10 Americans say they would not forgive their spouse for an extramarital affair (64%), would seek a divorce if one occurred (62%), and would not stand by their spouse if he or she were an elected official who had to face the media to address questions of infidelity (61%).” Read more at Gallup here.)

What would my reaction be if my wife was engaged in an extramarital affair? Would I forgive her and stay with her? While I can not say what my reaction would be (I hope that I would forgive my wife in this kind of situation and that she would forgive me), this is definitely a difficult question.

What is startling is the mercy of God in forgiving an adulterous people. Listen to Jeremiah 3:1-10:

“If a man divorces his wife
and she goes from him
and becomes another man’s wife,
will he return to her?

Would not that land be greatly polluted?
You have played the whore with many lovers;
and would you return to me?
declares the Lord.

Lift up your eyes to the bare heights, and see!
Where have you not been ravished?
By the waysides you have sat awaiting lovers
like an Arab in the wilderness.
You have polluted the land
with your vile whoredom.

Therefore the showers have been withheld,
and the spring rain has not come;
yet you have the forehead of a whore;
you refuse to be ashamed.

Have you not just now called to me,
‘My father, you are the friend of my youth—

will he be angry forever,
will he be indignant to the end?’

Behold, you have spoken,
but you have done all the evil that you could.”

The Lord said to me in the days of King Josiah: “Have you seen what she did, that faithless one, Israel, how she went up on every high hill and under every green tree, and there played the whore? And I thought, ‘After she has done all this she will return to me,’ but she did not return, and her treacherous sister Judah saw it. She saw that for all the adulteries of that faithless one, Israel, I had sent her away with a decree of divorce. Yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but she too went and played the whore. Because she took her whoredom lightly, she polluted the land, committing adultery with stone and tree. Yet for all this her treacherous sister Judah did not return to me with her whole heart, but in pretense, declares the Lord.”

The Lord knows what it is like to find a spouse in infidelity. He knows the heartbreak of a husband who finds that they only no longer their bride’s first love. He knows the grief and the wrath.

How did he respond?

Jer: 3:11-14:

And the Lord said to me, “Faithless Israel has shown herself more righteous than treacherous Judah. Go, and proclaim these words toward the north, and say,

“‘Return, faithless Israel,
declares the Lord.
I will not look on you in anger,
for I am merciful,
declares the Lord;
I will not be angry forever.

Only acknowledge your guilt,
that you rebelled against the Lord your God
and scattered your favors among foreigners under every green tree,
and that you have not obeyed my voice,
declares the Lord.

Return, O faithless children,
declares the Lord;
for I am your master;
I will take you, one from a city and two from a family,
and I will bring you to Zion.

It is a healthy endeavor to ask yourself what you would do if you found your spouse cheating on you. Find yourself grieving; find yourself in wrath; find yourself asking all the “why” questions.

Then find the Lord waiting on you – you who in the past, or perhaps presently, have whored against Him.

Find Him waiting…. waiting…. to embrace you, forgive you, and redeem you.