My beautiful wife finished Christine Mallouhi’s well known book, Miniskirts, Muslims, And Mothers. I asked her to write a review for the blog. She joyfully complied. I married so well….
Summary
This book gives a good picture of the honor and shame that encompasses Muslim cultures. For example, Muslim women might dress up because that’s honorable (wearing jewelry is especially noticed). Women who don’t dress up are often seen to not care about honor or their appearance. They are sometimes seen as sloppy and carefree. They also don’t care about their husband’s image, which is reflected in everything the woman does. Also, many Muslims will get a masters or PhD just because that gains them more honor. This book teaches that Muslims don’t put holy books on the floor or in chairs because they need to hold a physical place of honor. In addition, the furniture in the sitting room where Muslims would accept guests is much nicer than in any other room in the house because guests are to be treated with honor. Also, furniture is arranged so that the most important piece of furniture is situated in an ideal place in the room. The author also talks a great deal about reciprocating hospitality as a source of honor.
Throughout the book, the author warns of several cultural taboos, especially relevant in Arab cultures; for example, a man should never ask about another man’s wife by name. Also, a woman’s appearance or grooming should never be talked about in mixed company. She also lists several stories or tips to deal with gender boundaries. “People will be operating on an understanding of what is right and wrong that is probably not evident to outsiders at first” (158 ) The author says that the person in front of you must take priority over everything; that is, if a friend drops by or calls you on the phone, you must cancel everything to meet with them. If you don’t you are showing them dishonor. If you excessively admire something, the owner should give it to you.
Another chapter is devoted to the veil in Islam. It gives a good picture of western views and different Muslim views of wearing the veil. The author also discusses when it’s appropriate for foreign women to wear a veil.
Another chapter focuses on stereotypes of Western wild women, and how we should react to such stereotypes.
The author also addresses how to share the Gospel, and how to be an example of how to follow Christ. She explains this also in a chapter about family. Muslims come from a very communal society rather than an individualistic society. This should be remembered when sharing the Gospel. She also has a wonderful section written for mothers that shares how moms can really have an impact in the Muslim world. Additionally, for Muslims, the focus of theology is honor whereas with Christians the focus is love. MBB churches must be centered on hospitality and family.
She also talks specifically about struggles that long-term workers may have in the Muslim world.
A whole chapter is devoted to hospitality and what this has to do with honor and shame. Some of the stories about hospitality in Eastern cultures reveals truths about bible stories such as Lot.
The author also explains how it is difficult for classes to mix. She explains that she leaves social change to MBBs who sense that this is wrong and desire to create a change in society. She also discusses how Jesus addresses social classes as a model for us to follow.
Critiques
This book is very focused on Arabs. She lists all the places she has been around the world, but her husband is an Arab and most of the stories seem to have an Arab influence. (Don’t be fooled by the picture of the Southeast Asian women on the front cover).
There are a few quotes with which I disagree:
“It may be rare to see women shopping on their own” (115). I think this totally depends on the country in which you are visiting. In countries like Lebanon and in some places in Turkey, women walk freely along the streets. This comment is probably related to the more strict Islamic societies.
“Westerners who live with Arab families all complain about the lack of privacy” (136). I disagree. We lived with an Arab family in Lebanon and were fine. However, they were Christians, so perhaps this makes a difference.
She says on page 137 that Muslims relate last to their political party; however, I think this also depends on the part of the Muslim world that you visit. In Lebanon, this is a very important part of society.
Who should read this?
The author answers this question within the text: “Christians who want to be friends with Muslims” (169-170).
3 responses so far ↓
Momentum Magazine | Book Review // June 2, 2008 at 6:26 am |
[...] Quick, thorough review of “Miniskirts, Muslims and Mothers.” [...]
varie // June 10, 2008 at 11:20 am |
rubish page
Aladdin Elaasar // January 23, 2009 at 4:17 pm |
Obama’s Inauguration’s Speech: The Role of Arab and Muslim Americans
By Aladdin Elaasar
We are approaching a very historical event in the history of our nation, the United States of America. For the first time in our history, Americans voted for president –elect, Barrack Hussein Obama, as the first African-American president. We are so optimistic about the presidency of President Obama, not only for being the country’s first African American president, but for what he represents. Mr. Obama brings a new positive energy, deep global understanding of the intricacies of world affairs, and deep commitment for social justice and reform in our great country, the United States of America.
As a long time resident of Chicago, Illinois, myself, I had the honor and privilege of meeting Mr. Obama in person back in 2003 when he was running for the United States Senate. I met him while we were celebrating Dr. Martin Luther King’s Day in a church at the South Side of Chicago. You could see the enthusiasm, brightness and the great charisma and passion that Mr. Obama has. So I was not surprised to see him win the presidency.
As an African myself, I cannot tell how much proud and excited I am to see our nation having the first African-American president. This is a historical time for our nation. Arab and Muslim Americans are amongst those who overwhelmingly voted for Mr. Obama. As we know, there are about three million Arab Americans and about seven million Muslim Americans in this country. Not all Arab American are Muslims, and not all Muslim Americans are Arabs. These are very diverse communities. They come in all colors and backgrounds. They have been contributing to this nation for so long. Islam is not a foreign religion to this great nation of ours; Islam knew its way with the first sailors who came to America with Columbus after the fall of Granada in 1492. Islam was the religion of many Africans brought here to America. Muslim soldiers and chaplains contribute to the success of our military.
America has had long close friendly relations with the Arab and Muslim worlds. The first countries that recognised the United States after its independence are the Arab/Muslim North African nations of Morocco, Algeria and Tunisia, which stand up to this day as strong allies of the United States. The United States has many Arab and Muslim nations as allies. We would like to clarify that Arabs, Muslims and Islam are not the enemy and have not. In our war on terror, we are engaged in a war against extremist elements that have the audacity to commit horrendous acts of terror against innocent civilians that Islam does not approve nor condone. Those literalists and self-righteous extremist elements give a bad name to Islam and Muslims. Islam calls for mercy, forgiveness, coexistence and tolerance. In the last few decades, the world has been plagued by extremist militant fringe groups that live on the margin of society and call for bloodshed.
We should all join hands in subduing this phenomenon and exposing the fallacies behind these so called fundamentalist or Jihadist groups. They have been a threat to many Muslim and non-Muslim societies. They have targeted tens of thousands of innocent Muslims and non-Muslims everywhere. They have an aggressive malevolent agenda with extensive financial networks under many names.
In order for us to win the War on Terror, we need to fight ignorance, desperateness and give hope to the millions who live in extreme poverty and do not see a light by the end of the tunnel who become an easy victim of brainwashing and indoctrination. We need to promote the respect of human rights and dignity, and honor human life as God commanded us to do. Jihad is not blowing one self’s up amongst people. The biggest Jihad, as we were told by Prophet Muhammad-PBUH, is struggling with one’s self and making one’s self a better one. Violence breeds violence and complicates issues. Dialogue should be the option. Words, not bullets; Cultural understanding and tolerance.
Unfortunately, many Muslim societies are still living under the yoke of absolute rulers, authoritarian regimes and military dictatorships, for almost half a century. The result has been the absence of a real dialogue, lack of transparency, grave abuses of human rights, extreme poverty and corruption, the exploitation and politicization of religion in a way that enforces oppression and alienates the Muslim masses who get polarized by extremists calling for violence and abusing the concept of Jihad.
Absolute rulers in Arab and Muslim countries have contributed to the creation of a fertile soil for hopeless young people to be recruited by extremists, while the official state controlled media in these countries always promote intolerance and conspiracy theories, anti-Americanism and anti-semanticism, in order to tighten the grasp of these totalitarian regimes. In order to distract their population from real nagging domestic issues, these regimes are always playing on the fear factor and trying to find an external or an internal enemy to put the blame on.
Muslims should start by questioning themselves, fix their house from the inside, ask for their rights and domestic reform rather than putting the blame on outsiders. The Muslim world is in a bad shape and it needs help before the internal collapse of these societies and the impact that it can send throughout many parts of the world.
In the West, we should extend a helping hand to these societies and help them get back their freedom, rather than giving a handout. We should not shake hands with dictators and supporters of extremism. We should not allow them amongst us, and we should not let preachers of hatred to brainwash our impressionable youngsters.
Muslim Americans and Muslims everywhere else do not need foreign money that come to our communities under the pretext of building mosques or charities while they promote an extreme hidden political agenda and an intolerant version of Islam that has been behind many extreme movements. Muslim communities can be self-sufficient.
I extend my congratulations to president –elect, Barrack Hussein Obama, as the first African-American president and wish him success and guidance. I call upon all Muslim-Americans to support him and pray for him and our nation. Wa Aslam Aliakum wa Rahmatulah wa Barrakatuh
Aladdin Elaasar is a syndicated columnist, lecturer and an advocate for human rights and democracy. He wrote: “Silent Victims” and “The Last Pharaoh”.
Born, raised and educated in Egypt, Aladdin Elaasar is one of the foremost authorities on Egypt and the Arab World. In the United States, Aladdin Elaasar worked as a school teacher, counsellor for refugees, served with AmeriCorps at the Jane Addams Hull House Chicago, and as an ESL teacher. He is a former professor of Arabic language and Area Studies at the Defense Language Institute, and the Monterey Institute of International Studies.
Elaasar has been a frequent commentator on the Middle East on American TV and Radio networks and cofounder and former Vice President of NAAJA, the American Arab Journalists Association. He speaks English, Arabic, French and Spanish. omaraladin@aol.com